Do all things but forget
Oh hi there modern art
—
Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Top of a ferris wheel? Might as well have been at the top of the world. Best day this summer, without any doubt.
So,
I now live in the most desolate place in the country. Although this is a vast exaggeration, I am bound to the “sanctity” of the house, because despite the fact I am eighteen years old, my mother who has been absent the past seventeen years of my life, thinks that the wisest thing to make her estranged daughter love her is to prevent her from doing anything she enjoys. I am no longer allowed to go for a run in the morning, because there was a stand-off a few streets over. She doesn’t take in to consideration that the place I live in Ontario, the only neighbourhood in the entire city that I generally reside is the only neighbourhood that has announced violent crimes.
This may seem like some angst, but it’s not. It’s a plea. I wish she was remotely literate enough to read a newspaper. I wish she had some semblance of intelligence and would at least consider the things I say. Where is the satisfaction in an argument where nothing is accomplished.
I am a nanny for her older sister’s two children aged nine, and seven. She thinks I am competent enough to take care of her children, but my mother, aged thirty-seven, who has never held down a job, not to mention got her first job at thirty-six. Lives off of my aunt’s generosity has the audacity to try and belittle me.
The nerve of some people.
So I guess I haven’t really posted anything in a while. There hasn’t been very much interesting stuff to post about.
I went to Cold Lake, Alberta, which is also on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan. Regrettable things happened there which I’d rather not discuss.
The following weekend I went to Half Moon Lake, where I met this guy. I’ll just call him Dave (Because that’s his name), anyway, Dave came up to me as I was walking from the camp site to the beach and complimented me to no end. I will admit, I enjoyed the hell out of it. I took my seat on the sand and just enjoyed being able to do absolutely nothing. Dave, of course found me again and offered me a greasy food of some sort. I politely declined and told him I would see him around. I never saw him around. He probably won’t ever remember me, but I’ll surely remember him.
The past weekend was not nearly as eventful as my last three. I stayed home. I watched movies. I went to a fair where I saw the most adorable animals in the whole entire world, including a donkey. I won a minion from said fair, at no expense to me. I went for an early morning car ride with a stranger. I remembered why my parents always told me to never get into a car with a stranger. I found out some more unfortunate news about my father. I gained 20 pounds since I got here. I am now 160 pounds and 5’7”. Although in the past I may have been upset by this, my overall size has decreased. I went from a size 3/4 to a size 1/2. I won’t question it.
I suppose I will wrap this up now. I just miss home, a lot. I miss my friends, I miss my bed, I miss my animals. I just want to come home now. I’ve been away long enough.
I’ll end it with this picture I took while on the highway after a storm.
